whos afraid of Shobha De

Aishwarya had started off as a very naughty child . Even at the age of five ,she dominated the kids of her age in the neighbourhood ….who would run crying to their parents .
She liked to punish her four year old brother their pet dog Abhishek and their mother as much as possible .

With her Daddy out of town most of the time ,Ash’s mother was left to handle the holy terror . Her mother tried punishing Ash in every way , spanking , shouting ,sending Ash to her room for hours …nothing would work .

Until one day at dinner she put on the TV and who comes on but Shobha De….as a critic , chopping up the poor interviewee across her with words from her razor sharp tongue and her incredible wit .

Aishwarya watched with awe which gave her mother the unique idea .

She shut off the TV saying it was too dangerous with that woman in the room even if she was only on TV. People all over the world are scared of her she told Ash.

“If you don’t finish your dinner right now ..I will call Shobha De , she threatened Ash.

Much to her astonishment , little Ash started eating her meal…until the last scrap was eaten

At last Ash’s mother had scored !
Whereas other kids can be scared with threats…...by calling on ghosts , zombies ,snakes or even Rabri Devi , Ash was terrified just at the mention of Shobha De .

The years went by , but the Shobha De phobia did not .
In fact , Ash would start stammering at the mere mention of Shobha De..

Once she and a few classmates from Wilson College were sitting on the seashore .After eating some pani puri , the girls took turns singing .

Ash started her mom’s favourite song …” Nain so nain . “ .at which moment the wind blew a page from Times of India at their feet . And there on top of the page was the name Shobha De and a picture beneath .

“Nuh ..nuh ..naah…naaah ..naih..aaih …nain…. . “ sputtered Ash , eyes round as saucers as she swallowed her spit to try again .

“Naann …nanna …anna , “ she stopped sobbing , “ I can’t, I can’t , “ as her friends tried to figure out what had gone wrong .

Not daring to look down , Ash got up yanking her two friends with her and said .”.Let’s get away from this place “ …and took off .

Living in Mumbai ,one could not avoid Shobha De as she often came on TV , wrote opinions in newspapers and magazines and her name always cropped up somewhere .

Ultimately , Ash was referred to a famous psychiatrist Dr. Freni Bharucha . As Ash explained her problem at the mention of Shobha De, Dr. Bharucha literally flew off her sofa, , ran to her medicine cabinet and popped two Valiums in her mouth .

“I’m so so saa s orry, “ explained Dr. Bharucha ,stammering …
:
” I was in the same class as Shobha De in school and had a bigger problem than yours . All the girls in our class , including me had to undergo intense psychotherapy . I am still not over my fear ..Please go to another psychiatrist , preferably a male one .Thank you .Bye bye . “

Poor Ash . She had to do something .Perhaps she would lighten up this weekend at the Christmas party at the Taj Chinese room . At least she would see several celebrities there

As the festivities got her in a good mood, she decided she would conquer her own phobia .All she needed was a mantra ..What could be better than “ I am not afraid of Shobha De “, repeated again and again .?

As she went to the ladies’ room to check her appearance , she kept on muttering “ I am not afraid of Shobha De “ repeatedly .

There was a lady next to her powdering her nose , lean ,dark haired with a sharp nose and as she slowly turned towards our Aishwarya ..who could it be but Shobha De herself !!.

For Aishwarya the world stood still . She could not breathe ., her legs began to wobble .Her eyes became squint and she went into a faint , right on the floor .

As the smart thinker , Shobha De grabbed her head to prevent it from hitting the floor, even as she shouted , “Get a doctor quickly . “

“I’m a doctor , “said a voice , and this female stepped forward all in black…black sari , blouse , black onyx jewellery , black sandals , black watch and black tikka .

Shobha De sprang back in alarm , panic written all over her face .

“Oh my God , it’s Frenchita “ !